How to become a Christian Fundamentalist

Dear Christian Fundamentalist,
If you are coming from Facebook and found this post, you don’t need to read it. Just write „Amen“ in the comment. That’s perfectly OK. Everyone else is welcome to read on, of course.
OK, I will restart….

Dear Fundamentalist and Democrat,
please take a look at this picture:

You’re looking at a fundamentalist from a very specific religious group who believes that they can sleep with 72 virgins after they die.
The problem with this:
The noble piece must not be lost or damaged during the war, otherwise the 72 virgins will be quite sad.

You’re thinking, „What kind of idiot is this?“

Yes, people from the Christianized hemisphere all think:

What kind of idiot is that?

The difference is that Christians do not believe in 72 virgins in heaven.
For them, one is enough.

A good, faithful Christian has a good foundation for his faith, and that is the Bible.

Everything is in there.
Everything you need to know.
That’s all you need to know.

That is why Christianity is so strong.

And that is why the really genuine portion of Christians also call themselves creationists.

This is the Handbook for Creationists.

The creation of the world: It is described in detail in the Bible.
Here you can read everything exactly.

King James Bible: 1 Corinthians, Chapter 17, Vers 7:
If God has giventh you a mind, use it.

New Added: (Warning: Sarcasm!)


After the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the previously applicable right to free choice on abortion and left it to the states themselves, the U.S. states are allowed to legislate on abortion themselves.

Evil, non-religious, democratic women when the devil is involved.
  • Yes, finally… Finally it pays off that the ex-president Donald Trump has summoned the 3 judges, highly praised by us creationists, to the Supreme Court. Now we are finally in the majority.
  • Yes, finally … Finally we creationists are allowed to make laws of God. Humanity is not in the Bible, so it does not exist.
  • For it is written: Thou shalt not kill except in war, or religious opponents, or when the devil is involved, or Democrats, or non-religious Democratic women, when the devil is involved.
  • Yes, finally… finally, men who rape women, who abuse their young daughters, who commit violence in their families, are allowed by law to demand that their bastards be carried to term when those women become pregnant.
  • Yes, finally… Finally, women are no longer allowed to decide on their own how they are going to even manage to raise their children on a few dollars a month after their ex-husband runs off with his girlfriend.
  • Yes, finally… Finally, it’s no longer a question of whether or not a mother learns that her child will have a severe genetic defect, gets to decide whether or not to carry the child to term.
  • Yes, finally… Finally, the decision is taken away from the sick mother by law, to know that she herself or the child will die at birth.
  • Yes, it’s their own fault… It is the women’s own fault if they perform the abortions illegally themselves. Let them die! They are only evil, non-religious, democratic women anyway, with whom the devil is involved.

We demand a ban on women voting:
The thing that must now be banned by law very quickly in the U.S. is women to be allowed to vote in November 2022.
Because otherwise it could happen that the women who go to the polls in November and vote out the federal governments blessed by God.
These are women who:

  • are not religious,
  • are democratic and
  • where the devil is involved

Or by law a double vote for rapists:
or alternatively, in November 22, we will demand by law a double vote for all men

  • who have raped a woman,
  • who are not of the devil,
  • who are not democratic,
  • who have already ran a rampage
  • and who have run off with their girlfriend and abandoned their family…

They may also be granted the triple vote by law if women are still allowed to vote in November.

1. The Bible

In the beginning, God created heaven and earth, paradise, and in it He created Adam and Eve. That is how it begins, and there is nothing to shake it. That is the absolute truth. Every word in the Bible is true. Period. No discussions.
God created Adam, and then Eve, from Adam’s rib.
The whole thing happened about 6,000 BC and lasted 7 days.
If you don’t believe it, read it yourself.

2. The Earth is Not a Sphere

There are many references in the Bible which prove quite clearly that the earth is not a sphere. Because the scientists are so loudly convinced of it, the creationist covers himself in wise silence. You will all see: One day we are right and we can say:
We always knew it: The earth is not a sphere.

And here is the clear and definitive proof:

King James Bible: Ecclesiastes 1, Vers 5-7

„The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose. The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits. All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.“

So here it is written: Every word is true. So it is written:

  • Not the earth orbits around the sun: the sun orbits around the earth. And it hurries at night to return to the origin. (Especially in summer, when the nights are shorter.
  • The wind leaves at noon and returns to the origin at midnight.
  • The sea is never full and never empty. The water always flows back to the place where it came from.

2. Evolution is Evil

Evolution is not in the Bible, therefore it does not exist. Man is not descended from the ape. That is against the creation of man and that is an offense against God.

It is clearly demonstrable: If man descended from apes, why are there still apes?
Well, you see.

3. Fossils are evil

Those who believe that the world is billions of years old are lying. It is not written in the Bible.
Yes, there were dinosaurs and yes, there were fossils. But they died out shortly after the creation of man or at the Flood. Adam and Eve both lived to see dinosaurs.

The proof can be seen in Kentucky (Praise be to Ken Ham)

3. Science is Evil

Everything that the scientists tell you, and it is not in the Bible. Is wrong. The scientists are lying to you just to show that the devil is right. All scientists are sent by the devil.

Und dann machen sie sich auch noch über Gott lustig.

Well, OK. Not everything in science is wrong.

Cars are not science, and they help spread your messages all over the world.

Neither is Facebook. Facebook is not a science. You don’t know where else to post about Jesus.

But telescopes are science. They are evil. There’s nothing to see up there.

Nothing that should interest you.

4. The Rapture

Yes, one day, suddenly I’m gone. You can search for a long time

King James Bible: Luke 17, 34-36:
„I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left. Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left. Two men shall be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.“

… one is taken, the other is abandoned

… if one of us is taken, don’t be sad. Don’t worry about it…

… And suddenly I’m gone ….

… and where will you be?

5. Prayer

You can pray to God everywhere and always

You can thank him for everything. That you found your car keys,
…that you threw the touchdown…

You can thank God that you won the prize …

You can pray that you will knock out your opponent’s teeth …

You can pray that you will not be killed in the war …

… or that you kill as many enemies as possible…

You can pray that you will be this year’s champion …

… and you can ask God to change his mind….

… not a good plan …

Chapter 6. THE END

There are still so many topics that you can still discover by yourself.

For the beginning is near …

It ain’t easy to be a creationist

One day you’ll find your way

If you enjoyed it, I would be happy to read your comments. You are welcome to leave a Like or follow my blog. You can see thousands of more pictures at:

Greetings from Martin

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